I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
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