it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
