i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize