I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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