you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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