I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
