Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
