final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
