I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
