I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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