Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
