Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
