i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
