We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize