Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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