i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
