You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
