before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize