walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
