You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
