i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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