An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
