So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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