just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
