Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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