It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
