i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
