Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
