I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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