you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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