May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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