Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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