wrigley field is MILF paradise
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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