someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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