Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
