I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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