I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
