i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pants are for mortals
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
