So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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