I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
