But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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