he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
