My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
