whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
