Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
