there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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