paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
