I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Drunk is not a location!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
