I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize