rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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