My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize