I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My bed smells like the plague
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize