thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
