they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize