I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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