You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I could fuck to npr.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
