I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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