I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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