This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
