Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So much Jack, so little girl.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
