It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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