Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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