She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
