if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
