I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
