We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
