I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
